Pokemon Side
by Mirai Gensao
Summary: A parody of a poem no one has ever heard of and me making fun of some things in the show that are just funny.


Author's Note: A couple months ago we had to do a repetitive poem in Creative Writing, so the following is based off a piece entitled "Five Ways To Kill A Man". Inspired randomly, I decided to use various things my friend or I thought were funny or made little to no sense in Pokémon. Even my teacher, who doesn't really watch the show, thought it was good. So have some fun reading cuz I had fun writing, and tell me what ya think. If anyone out there likes it even a little, then I'd like to know. 

Disclaimer: Nintendo owns Pokémon and everything else associated with the creatures and character likenesses in this poem. 

Numerous Ways To Acquaint Yourself With Your Pokémon Side 

There are numerous ways to acquaint yourself with your Pokémon side;

first and foremost comes the obvious catching yourself 

one of those wonderful little creatures. To do this correctly, 

you must take a small yellow tennis ball,

though green will suffice, and toss it at your little puppy.

Once your favorite pet is safely contained

in your piece of sports equipment, you give it a nickname

such as Arcanine or perhaps Growlithe. 

Next you can take your newly acquired little buddy

and pit him against the cat next door, 

whose names happens to be Persian, and once you defeat him,

demand the little boy next door hand over your badge. 

With your badge securely in hand,

Pin it to your jacket and leave his house. 

After this, it's off on your Pokémon journey you go,

stopping along the way to pick random things that look interesting

off of the ground in hopes they will become useful sometime in the future.

Green tennis balls litter yards, and jump ropes lie abandoned on the street,

waiting to be used as a means to escape a bad situation. Both of these things 

and more await your taking. 

Every time a strange and foreign animal emerges from the bushes,

you pull out your handy dandy Personal Digital Assistant

and request from it information on the creature in front of you.

It informs you of the height, weight, type, and name of said creature,

Thus you then decide to add to your collection and toss at it another

green tennis ball since they have a higher success rate. 

With your brand new pigeon named Pidgey in tow, you set off again 

for the next adventure, only to discover you need an electric type 

to defeat the kid across the street and her goldfish, Magikarp.

This feat requires a little side quest to the park down the path,

and once you are there, you must hunt for a small rodent. After all,

Pikachu is called the electric mouse Pokémon. 

Fairly quickly do you find your mouse, and to charge it up,

you simply attach a wire connected to a battery on each cheek

and plug it in. When the little guy is ready to go, head across the street. 

Your clothes must always remain the same, never changed to fit a situation

unless it's cold, in which case a jacket is allowed, but that is the limit to which 

you can alter your wardrobe. A hat must be worn, turned around with the brim

facing back when you battle, and you must treasure it with your life and keep it safe 

as if it were worth more than all the gold in the world combined. 

Once you finally beat that girl and her goldfish, you realize what great allies

you have become in saving the park from a duo is mischievous friends 

wanting to capture everyone's pets and all the wild animals in the park

and send them back to their boss as a trophy, hoping to get promoted.

As you walk away, you wave very slowly for five minutes in sync with

the girl across the street before walking tremendously slow away from her

into the sunset with your next badge and a new friend. 

Along the way, you meet a girl and steal her bike, or skateboard, depending 

on what her hobby and personality is, to use to flee from an angry pack of 

sparrows that are after you since your attempt to catch their leader with your

yellow tennis ball failed, and they did not appreciate the rock you threw their way. 

Somewhere along the line, it gets totaled, and before you know it, 

you have an annoying, big-mouth girl stalking you everywhere, demanding you pay her back. 

Your best friend has no eyes, and if he does, he must be afraid of the sun because

they're closed all of the time. This guy also has trouble color coordinating his outfits

because last time you checked, green, brown, and orange just do not go together.

But that's okay because he likes rock-types like a chunk of granite he named Geodude

and a has a cute pet fox named Vulpix. 

Constantly, you run into that annoying duo of Pokémon thieves, and the male companion 

always seems more dressed up than the girl, and in time, you begin to notice he has 

an unhealthy liking of roses which eventually gets to annoy you because whenever they and

their bothersome, constantly screeching cat show up, he throws a few at you, and let's face it,

the thorns don't exactly tickle. When he's not throwing roses, she tosses out a snake and calls it Arbok,

and he yells, "Victreebel!" as he throws a plant at you, though it flies back at him 

and hits him in the face instead. 

At one point, you find yourself wondering if, possibly, you could clone a rare breed of cat

to create an all-powerful super beast. After much genetic experimentation done by someone with 

a background in science since you failed Natural Science I and II, you have your 

cat…only it destroys half of your neighborhood before it flies off with other shunned animals into

the horizon, never to be seen again. 

As I said, there are many ways to get acquainted with your Pokémon side. 

Perhaps an easier way than a journey through your neighborhood is to pick up a Gameboy

and spend a few hours conquering the virtual pocket monsters in the comfort of your own

room. 

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Well, hope it was worth the time and energy it took to click your mouse button and scroll down. If you still have any of that energy left, click the review button at the bottom and leave one, if you would. Feedback of all kinds is accepted, unless it is pointlessly negative. Then it's just stupid and won't make me do anything but laugh at the immaturity. Thanks in advance. 


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